Nobody did. But the next day people kidded him by saying it was the first time any fighter was urged to take a dive even before the bout began.
I now know he participated in some things vicariously through me, his only son. When I played ball (poorly), he "played" too. When I joined the Navy he "joined" too. And when I came home on leave, he saw to it that " I visited his office. Introducing me, he was really saying, "This is my son, but it is also me, and I could have done this, too, if things had been different." Those words were never said aloud.
He has been gone many years now, but I think of him often. I wonder if he sensed my reluctance to be seen with him during our walks. If he did, I am sorry I never told him how sorry I was, how unworthy I was, how I regretted it. I think of him when I complain about trifles, when I am envious of another's good fortune, when I don't have a "good heart".
At such times I put my hand on his arm to regain my balance, and say, "You set the pace, I will try to adjust to you."
Annotation
1. cripple v. 使残疾，损害
2. inwardly adv. 在内心
3. squirm v. 蠕动
4. let on 泄密
5. coordinate v. （使）配合
6. adjust to 调整，使适合于
7. nasty adj. 肮脏的，不愉快的
8. sleigh n. 雪橇
9. cling to 抓紧
10. handrail n. （楼梯）扶手
11. basement n. 地下室
12. marvel v. 诧异
13. subject…to 使…经历
14. indignity n. 轻蔑，侮辱
15. punch v. （用拳头）猛砸
16. shove v. 推，乱推
17. content adj. 满意的
18. frustration n. 失望
19. take a dive 认输
20. bout n. 拳击比赛
21. vicariously adv. 可替代地
22. see to it that 保证
23. envious adj. 妒忌的
